Frustration Abounds

This morning I got a talking to from one of the Mandarin teachers, saying I must spend more time outside of class practicing Mandarin because it was clear I was not remembering vocab from former lessons. He is right, of course, so now I feel very disappointed in myself. I currently have two problems. 

1. I have no one outside of class to practice Mandarin with. 

Solution: find a Mandarin buddy to trade Mandarin help for English help. Not sure how realistic this is, but let's see if I can find someone.

2. I am not using Mandarin in day to day situations. I currently feel like I don't know enough to get across what I need, but, of course, I still need to practice what I do know and be ok with trying and failing. 

Solution: grow a pair and always use Mandarin when I can in public. 

These are the types of problems that I hate the most. I know the problem exists, I know I know what the solution is, and I know that I am still avoiding the problem. The result is I feel really disappointed in myself, and unfortunately the majority of my life right now is this type of problem. I want to lose weight, but don't have the energy to work out. I need to work four hours a day, but I can't find the time to do it. I want to learn mandarin, but I'm too scared to practice it in the real world. 

Of course, the real problem is not that I dont have enough energy or enough time for these things. I have so much time it's silly! There is no excuse for what I am doing (or not doing). The real problem is without someone telling me to do something, without having a deadline with consequences otherwise, I have no motivation whatsoever. 

The funny thing is, I never knew this about myself until now. I was always very productive and achieved alot as a kid because there were always motivations. I was only good in school because I wanted to impress my parents. I only worked out when I was forced to because of softball. 

So, how do I get self-motivation? Anybody got a solution for that? 

Sad puppy.

Ok. Sorry for the depressing existential crisis I'm having over here. Let's move on to something more lighthearted and interesting.

On Sunday, it was another hot and sunny day, so Drew and I went back to Shek'o Beach, this time to actually go swimming and enjoy the sunshine. As you can see from the pics, it was super crowded. When you walked up to the beach, a little lady dressed like a bee keeper would ask if you wanted an umbrella and chairs for rent. If yes, they would worm through the existing umbrellas carrying yours until they found an opening, claiming your spot for the rest of the beach to see. Luckily, we were meeting Heidi, Rob, and the kids there, so they had already staked a claim. The people watching was fantastic. Some women were more dressed up than I get to go out, wearing beautiful sundresses and high heels. Obviously, they had no intention of getting in the water. Also, more guys there wore briefish bathing suits than board shorts. Weird. You had the flirtatious teenagers, the serious swimmers, the normal families burying a kid in the sand, and the drunk bachelors rowing rafts about aimlessly while drinking a beer. Drew and I had fun bobbing about, swimming to the netting and back, playing with the kids, and snoozing in the sun. The only downer was there were zero waves, not like we would have been able to ride them anyways because it was so crowded. Our next adventure is to find an equally nice, less crowded beach with bigger waves. Overall, a lovely day though.

Last but not least, on my walk home today I saw a miniature version of trig. It's not him, I swear!